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Swinging Bisexuals: The Lifestyle Basics for Open
Relationships in Germany and Your Local Area
By Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott
Having trouble distinguishing between all of those 'bi'
titles out there? Wondering how to conduct yourself as a bisexual individual or
how to approach someone who is bisexual? Here are a few pointers to help
elucidate a sometimes confusing quest.
Bi-Titles: How to Distinguish
These are open to some wiggle
room and each individual perceives the classifications differently. Here is a
general guide:
Bi-curious: Anyone who wishes to try a bi experience to see how they like
it. To many, after experimenting a few times, continued enthusiastic play with
those of the same sex should classify one as bisexual, period.
Bi-comfortable: This is probably the biggest gray area in the land of
'bi'. A bi comfortable individual is someone who can hang out with another
bisexual/gay person and not have to worry about whether that person is going to
pin them down for some lovin'. It's basically someone who isn't homophobic.
Occasionally, you'll find those who label themselves bi-comfy when they allow
the same sex to go down on them, but do not wish to return the favor or get into
kiss and play mode. Women who aren't necessarily into girl-girl play, but do so
for the sake of a man's fantasies, may go all the way with another woman. This
does not make her bisexual, regardless of the sexual acts performed. She is
merely comfortable enough to do it for the sake of pleasing her male partner.
Bi-sexual: An individual who is attracted to the same gender sexually. It's
not necessarily someone who has sex with the same gender, because sometimes,
especially in long-time marriages, they have never opened up about their sexual
nature to their spouse. Sexuality is a state of mind, not always a state of
being.
How Common is Bisexuality in
Swinging?
Couples with a woman who fits
into one of the above categories are more the norm than the exception in the
swinging lifestyle. You'll find that a couple with a strictly straight woman
is in the minority. If you are seeking girl-girl play, these couples are
plentiful. Do keep in mind though, that many of these same couples, while open
to girl-girl play, are also seeking to take it further than just exploration
among the ladies. If it is strictly womanly action a couple seeks, it is wise
to pursue single females or to ensure that a couple is a match. Couples who do
not wish to play sexually beyond girl-girl are harder to find. So ask before
setting up a date, or you will find yourself in a sticky situation.
Bisexual men in the lifestyle are
another minority, but they can be found. Many websites have a search feature
that allows members to seek out bisexual single men or couples with a bisexual
male. This is simply a matter of taking the time to seek out the criteria you
desire. When searching couples' profiles, be sure to check the male's stats.
It will usually state sexual preference. If you are still unsure, check the
text of the profile. Be very cautious when approaching a lifestyle male about
his sexual status if bisexual tendencies are not listed anywhere in the
profile. When the profile says that he is straight, it usually means just
that. It is much more accepted to ask a straight woman whether she would ever
entertain bisexual explorations. Asking a male this same question might get you
into hot water.
If you are a bisexual single male
or part of a couple, it is highly recommended that you state this in your
profile. Again, there is a bit of a double standard when it comes to bi men vs.
women. Non-disclosure of a male's bisexuality can lead to issues in certain
situations. When out on a lifestyle date, if a couple suddenly finds out that
the male is bisexual, this can be very uncomfortable for the other man.
Although the bisexual male probably won't try to make a move on the straight
male in a swapping situation, the straight male may not even want to partake in
any sexual activity near a bisexual man. Whether or not this is a valid fear or
a silly paranoia, it still exists.
Bottom Line: If you choose not to
disclose your status in your profile, do not spring the surprise on a straight
male down the line unless he confesses those curiosities himself.
The Double Standard
From extensive experience in the
swinging lifestyle, a double standard has made itself very apparent. Bisexual
men experience a more difficult time. There are swingers that are open and
enthusiastic about bisexual women, but are not open-minded when it comes
to bisexual men. As a bisexual male approaching the lifestyle, be prepared to
grow a thick skin. Many lifestylers claim to be open-minded. While this may be
true, you'll come to find that some swingers are open-minded about their own
type of sexual pursuits. They aren't necessarily open-minded about your
sexual pursuits. Do not take this personally, because it's about them, not
you. You will find many others who will embrace your sexuality. You will also
find those who are just like you! There are perfect matches for everyone.
For more information on
couples dating and Germany swing club information, please join
lifestylelounge.com
Carpe do'em
(Seize the Swinger)
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