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Five Common Questions for New Swinging Couples in the
Lifestyle: Dating Tips for Swingers in Saint David, IL and Your Local Area
By Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott
Having questions and concerns is common among couples first
seeking to enter the swinging lifestyle. It is healthy to seek answers to these
questions before exploring swinging curiosities. Although there are many
questions that come to mind, here are five of the most prevalent questions
couples ask before going further.
Will swinging be a detriment to our marriage?
This depends. The effect of couples dating can be either a
detrimental force or a strengthening agent. The lifestyle is like the wind to
your relationship's fire. If your fire is weak, swinging will be the wind that
could easily extinguish y our flames. If your fire burns strong, this same wind
can breathe more life into the flames, making your fire burn brighter. In other
words, the strength of your bond, the trust in your mate and sturdy lines of
communication make for the best swinging partnerships. Swinging can lead to
enhanced communication skills and bonding, as many novel situations are
encountered when venturing into an open marriage. You are both essentially
embarking on a new adventure together. Everything you do, you do as a couple.
It often brings a new appreciation for each other, thus enhancing your already
strong bond. A relationship with underlying issues, however, will suffer. Any
flaws beneath the surface will only be exacerbated by venturing into sexual
relationships outside of your marriage. Fixing foundational flaws in imperative
to ensure not just your success in swinging, but success in your own
relationship.
Will I be jealous to see my partner with someone else?
If you are both entering swinging for the right reasons,
and not just to cast your mate away in exchange for a fulfilling sex life, then
jealousy is bound to occur. This is rather normal, and a twinge of jealousy
usually signals a healthy attachment to your partner. Excessive jealousy
signals insecurity and/or other underlying issues. We are all programmed by
society to believe that monogamy is the correct norm. First, we must realize
that society does not dictate our own minds. By shedding the accepted norm,
this is the first step to defeating jealousy. We are also protective of &#quot;our&#quot;
mates, and do not wish to lose them to another. This is also normal. However,
overcoming this primal instinct can lead us to understanding that trust can go a
long way. If we truly trust in our partner's love for us, we know that at the
end of the night, no matter how great the sex was, we go home with our
partners. There will always be others that may perform differently in bed, or
do something in a way that we have never done before. However, a night of new
and exciting experiences should not eclipse the strength of the bond within the
relationship. Communication, reassurance to our mates, and affirmation of their
worth to us is the best way to combat jealousy.
My partner has suggested swinging to me. What is
his/her motive for this?
There are many reasons a partner may suggest the
lifestyle. The best way to answer this is to ask your partner this exact
thing. Your instinct coupled with communication should do an adequate job of
answering this question. If your mate is pressuring you to swing, despite how
you feel about it, this should be a warning sign. If either one of you is
adamant against swinging, this should be respected.
Do swingers expect or participate in emotional
attachments?
Some do by choice, and some do not partake in attachments
by choice. Then there are situations in which emotional attachments just
happen. Normally, these kinds of attachments are avoided. The lifestyle is
primarily about sexual freedom and the occasional friendship that arises.
Couples who seek out emotional ties and relationships with others are treading
closer to polyamory, a completely different lifestyle. Ideally, emotions should
not enter the equation. Those with strong bonds within the relationship
normally do not succumb to this. If you are worried about this, communicate
with your mate.
How do we make the first connections in the lifestyle?
Signing up on a website is a great place to start. You can
both explore the scene in private and get a general feeling of the types of
people available for couples dating. Peruse the profiles and read a variety of
them to see what feels right to you. Fill out your own profile after you have
gotten a sense of how it is done, and post some pictures of you both. Once you
have created a profile, don't sit back and expect people to come to you. Be
proactive and start contacting people to make the introductions. Consider
attending a club or event to get a general feel for the atmosphere. Remember,
this should be about having fun, so don't get too serious.
For more information on
couples dating and Saint David, IL swing club information, please join
lifestylelounge.com
Carpe do'em (Seize the swingers)
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